From The Archives: Customer Complaint

Dear “The Best Cafe In The World”,

I am writing to you to express my displeasure at the level of service and standards offered by your establishment.  My visit today was far from an enjoyable experience, and the food served was simply pathetic for a cafe that claims to be “The Best…In The World!”

Firstly I would like to tackle the issue of the service.  Now, it is standard practice in all the establishments i have been in to date for the customer to at least be acknowledged by a smile, nod, wink, or a wave – and indeed, good service would include a simple, “Hi!” an introduction, or to be presented with a menu.  I entered your cafe and recieved nothing of the sort.  In fact there was nobody to be seen.  I could hear some frolicking in the kitchen area, and I dread to think what the cooks were doing, but no-one bothered to come and see if I was fine.

Despite this I took a seat and awaited someone to come and take my order.  After a few minutes I heard muttering from behind a small hatch, and could vaguely make out someone peeping through the keyhole at me.  I over heard the cooks trying to guess who I was – I am sure simply coming out to me may have made their job easier, but it seemed they were enjoying their game as I could hear hearty laughs.  Then it went quiet again.

After about five minutes a small cook on a wooden spoon flew past me!  When I say small, I mean he must have been around 9 inches tall.  The ‘spoon’ flew out the window, and I sat baffled as to what I saw.  I do have to question what toxins you have pumping through your air conditioning unit, as such a sight is most perculiar, and I could only have been hallucinating.  About five minutes passed, and the spoon-riding midget flew back, and into the kitchen.

I could hear some more japery from behind the hatch, before it opened cautiously and a plate slid out with what I can only assume to be food on it.

Now I realise that presentation makes a meal, but what was served on my plate was a joke.  I attach a picture which I snapped with my phone for you to see…

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I can only assume they are sheep, which makes we wonder exactly what the two cooks had deduced I ‘was’ in their little game earlier?!  I cannot say I dress much like a shepherd, so whether they were questioning my sexual preferences is what I wonder.

Well, I was not happy, and so returned the plate to the ‘hatch’ but no-one bothered to open it to take my query.  Now at this point I needed to loo, so put my bag down for a minute (there was no-one else around, so I thought it would be safe) and nipped off.  On my return, the plate had gone, and so had my bag.  Now I had just been to buy some gifts for my children – a frisbee, a kite, and some hats for their dolls.  I tapped on the hatch to get the attention of the staff, hoping they had put it safe, but no-one answered.  Peeping through the keyhole I could see them frolicking around, singing and dancing, and my bag of presents lain open in front of them.  I have no idea what ‘games’ they had been up to but I did manage to sneak a picture of the little one through the keyhole…

Bukkacook_2 

No attempts to gain their attention were successful.

I find the fact that you hire such unprofessional staff disgraceful, and that they took my bag and helped themselves is disgusting.  I did contact the police, but they seemed unconcerned – in fact one policeman said that the cafe, “Makes a lovely ‘helmet surprise’ cake!” (Whatever that means!)

Rest assured I will not visit your establishment again, and I will be writing to the local press regarding this matter.

Sincerely,

A disgruntled customer!

 

 

***NOTE: This didn’t really happen – anyone who sees Big Cook Little Cook on TV will get the jist :)

From the Archives: About Me

Okay, over on Typepad I kept a rather sporadic blog called Just Another Geek (totally stole the idea of the name from Wil Wheaton’s ‘Just A Geek’ book), and it appears that the import function here on WordPress is a tad glitchy, and it refuses to import my backup.  So I decided it would be a good way to add regular content here, by sporadically mixing old ‘archive’ posts with new comments.

Again, I totally stole the idea from Wil Wheaton as he does exactly this quite often on his excellent blog page (over at wilwheaton.net ).  But anyway, here we are with the first ‘From the Archives’ which was my first ever post on Typepad back in January 2011.

So, recent online activity got me thinking about my own life, and all the elements that led to me being who I am, and where I am. This led to me wanting to start putting down some of the memories and thoughts I have in a journal form. Now, those of you who know me will know that if I did this the traditional way (with paper and quill) then it would be barely decipherable by even the most skillful translators. Thus I chose to utilise a PC, and inevitably fell upon finally writing a more serious blog.

Again, those who know me will have encountered my online persona attempting something similar at various points over the years, and may even wonder why I chose to not use my own domain site. Well, to tackle these two small points:-

Firstly, my blog attempts in the past have usually revolved around either films, gaming, or music, and have each  focused purely on one of them (see my LastFM profile journal for an example). This one will cover anything, and everything, that I feel like writing about. It will, essentially, be a life-blog.

On the second point, I’m not daft. I realise that my site gets about 3 visits per week, and they are from the googlebots. By joining a blog-network, it makes my ramblings and musings more accessible to anyone who cares to read them.

So, back to the matter at hand….

I am a geek! I have a love of silly dice, sci-fi, comic books, movies, gaming, reading, fantasy, and playing with – I mean organising my collection of – collectible figurines (read: Toys). If you don’t like that, well tough. That’s what I am. Now, I am not a nerd. I feel I must make that clear. If you are not sure about the differences betwixt the two, I sum it up with the following:-

A geek wears a Star Trek T-Shirt. A nerd wears a Starfleet Uniform!

Get that? Okay, it’s a generalisation, but it gets the point across.

But, what factors led to me being a geek, and why do I embrace my geekiness so much, and not hide behind a fake shell of masculinity? Well, I am not going to answer those questions directly, but over time this blog will come to enlighten you all, perhaps, into the answers. But it will take time, and we may wander various paths into strange ramblings whilst we journey there. Perhaps the journey will never be completed. Does it matter much, so long as I get a chance to get back to what I used to do a lot of… writing (well, typing to be accurate).

So there you have the starting post from this new blogspace. When will I type again? Soon… that is all I can say.

Now, in the years since that first post, I have made around 60 blog posts.  That equates to just under 3 per month on average.  Not a great deal, but it is usually when something sparks me off over on Facebook or Twitter that I find myself inspired to blog.

I deliberately don’t blog frequently.  Why fill space just for the sake of it?  I’d rather it be infrequent, but insightful.  I even tried one of those ’30 day question challenge’ things to generate some content, and grew bored of it half way through.

If you want to keep up with all things JAG, or maybe follow my film rants and reviews, head to Facebook and ‘Like’ my pages. Just-Another-Geek and filmfileuk